July 16th, 2004
Nostalgic Friday Afternoon
It's raining outside. I can hear the rustle of the rain, the loud thunder permeating through the sound of dot matrix printers in my new office. I can hear conversations and faint laughters.
Entries for July, 2004
July 20th, 2004
Im so Cheesy!
Here is a screenshot of the ecard i sent to abby a while ago for our 2nd month together...too bad we can't see each other because of our busy skeds...she playing volleyball and me...doing laundry? :)
July 23rd, 2004
Giving Up
I did it. Over a cup of cappuccino, blueberry cheesecake and a pack of Winston lights, I said something I didn?t expect I can ever say. ?me? I?m just waiting for a call.", i plainly muttered. I think nobody heard me because nobody paused or asked me about it.
The topic that early evening was about death. Abby and Trina were talking about Trina's cousin in law who has just died. He was 20, young , good looking and very much dead. He reminded me of my cousin who was also around that age, a six footer, and yeah, very much dead. They both died while sleeping. What a waste isn't it? Earlier in the day I got a message from a friend that the dad of Janine died.
The news reminded me of my own dad. He's very ill right now. His kidney is no longer operational so we have to send him to the hospital at least once a week for him to have his dialysis. It was never a walk in the park for my family....clearly this is my family's darkest hour and we are living it blindly. We were not prepared to handle this situation....not this early at least. My dad is 47 and my youngest sibling is a high school senior. My family is young and we still have tons of memories to build.
I want to give up and the words i uttered last night was an indication that im leaning towards that direction. But now, as I share this small portion of my private life, I ask myself "how will I do it? how will i give up?"... I still don't know the answer to that question but I know the sad fact is...i have no choice but to live my life as it is right now. The challenge is for me to succeed no matter what. I may lose my father but I want him to know that I rose above the trials and that mom is in safe hands.
Better wean myself from the cigs.
The topic that early evening was about death. Abby and Trina were talking about Trina's cousin in law who has just died. He was 20, young , good looking and very much dead. He reminded me of my cousin who was also around that age, a six footer, and yeah, very much dead. They both died while sleeping. What a waste isn't it? Earlier in the day I got a message from a friend that the dad of Janine died.
The news reminded me of my own dad. He's very ill right now. His kidney is no longer operational so we have to send him to the hospital at least once a week for him to have his dialysis. It was never a walk in the park for my family....clearly this is my family's darkest hour and we are living it blindly. We were not prepared to handle this situation....not this early at least. My dad is 47 and my youngest sibling is a high school senior. My family is young and we still have tons of memories to build.
I want to give up and the words i uttered last night was an indication that im leaning towards that direction. But now, as I share this small portion of my private life, I ask myself "how will I do it? how will i give up?"... I still don't know the answer to that question but I know the sad fact is...i have no choice but to live my life as it is right now. The challenge is for me to succeed no matter what. I may lose my father but I want him to know that I rose above the trials and that mom is in safe hands.
Better wean myself from the cigs.
July 26th, 2004
Making Choices
I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things, sorrow, misfortune. and suffering, are outside my door. I am in the house and I have the key
Charles Fletcher Lummis
Charles Fletcher Lummis